Posted by: Ray Peoples | January 7, 2010

What….no stinkin way…

Yeah… today something happen that you only hear other people talk about. Well, now I get to join in on the conversation when this topic is brought up.

The other day somebody told me that when Graham gets older he is going to read this and think that all he ever did was eat, sleep, poop, and play. Sadly enough that is the truth. That is what life we lead right now. He doesn’t go running about(or into things) or say anything hilarious yet so that is about all his (my) days consist of. Now he occasionally makes funny squeals and things like that but those are kinda hard to copy in a text format and I don’t think many people would want to listen to a fifteen minute segment of the boy squealing away. So this is what we have to work with for the time being and I think it is “sorta” funny. In fact I am going to jump on a soap box about that for a second….I see folks out in public who tell me they love the blog and the stories BUT they never seem to comment on any of the stories. Now I am not a big stickler on this, but it is nice to know that people are reading this…and perhaps enjoying it. In fact, I won’t lie, I know people are reading this not only because they do tell me in public(thanks by the way…glad you are enjoying it) but also because I have Stats on my blog dashboard that keep me informed that you are in fact out there…and out there in large numbers…so Thanks….but maybe let me know you are enjoying it…sound cool???…GREAT!!!!…..p.s. please?  

Alright, whew …off the soap box and on to the main event.

We got an exersaucer today (thanks Mackeys) and Graham loves it. When we brought it home he was happily playing along in it for a good hour or so (his legs may have turned a hint of purple but he is back to normal color now…just kidding, put the phone down…) I left the room for a moment to change out laundry. My laundry changing was suddenly interrupted by a wailing scream from the other room. Running, yes indeed, I came speeding into the room and he looked up at me like…”GET ME OUTTA HERE!” I scooped him up to find that a little bit of poo had leaked out of his diaper and on to his outfit. ALRIGHT HE POOPED!!! (if you have read my earlier post you know we are dealing with some constipation issues) I was actually somewhat excited!! We headed into his room to change when I noticed a little more poo had collected on my arm. “Hmm..thats odd” I thought. I then laid him out on the changing table and opened him up to see what was inside (experience told me to get a couple wipes ready due to the leakage) Now if you have read this blog before you know whats coming….. As I began to unhook the diaper my nose  was filled with this horrid “road kill” type smell. Now, his diapers have smelled bad…but never this bad, the stuffed animals were even covering their noses.

As I grabbed his legs to raise them up I noticed that the poo just kept going on around toward his back. I tilted him up a little further to see where it stopped and I couldn’t find an end… It just kept going…So, i grabbed the wipes and started attacking. Before I knew it, more poo was coming out on each side of the boy and my two wipes quickly seemed like I had brought a water gun to the OK corral. Wiping down a four-month old, who is really starting to figure out how to move, is a chore in its self, but when he is greased up in poo it makes for an interesting battle. After, I had gotten the majority of the poo I could see, I rolled up his diaper and laid down a wipe for him to “sit” on while I tilted him up to access where on his back this mess actually stopped. Well, when I leaned him forward, I quickly learned I should have never laid him down in the first place. His whole back was poo, and not like a slight dusting. I think it was deeper than some of the snow we have recently received….

The “rooster tail” I had so famously heard of  reared its ugly head and put any earlier showings to shame. It was like his day- and- half buildup decided to come forth at the worst time it could…That moment… when all his weight was  conviently placed on his little exersaucer sling between his legs. Yep, perfect timing indeed…

So, I started using wipes left and right to wipe him down, trying to contain the poo while he slid his arms through what had accumulated on his sides. Funny enough, he has started grabbing things…and he decided to grab the full diaper that was laying next to him by the tab and sling it around. It was like my December 15th post on steroids. Not only is he slinging his arms through the poo on his sides but as he is slinging them around, there is a dirty diaper at the end of those arms.

I caught myself muttering…”no way…NO WAY!!!.In the disbelief and shock of it all, this laugh just overcame me (I think to keep from crying) and I couldn’t concentrate on what I was doing. I think I was partly laughing because I was thinking to myself  “this is totally going on the blog…haha” . For a moment, I remember blanking out and just looking down at Graham and seeing the “fun” he was having whipping that diaper all around.

After I finally came to, I grabbed up the diaper and all the dirty wipes and tossed them into an empty diaper box sitting on the floor.   Then, scooped up the boy, who still had the wipe he was “sitting on” poo pasted to his butt cheeks, and carried him waaaay out in front of me to the bathtub. Plopped him down in his mini tub and fired up the water.  We were gonna get this boy and myself clean!!!!! 

Wow…I took him back into his room and it looked like someone had painted the changing area in poo. I got him a new outfit and laid him down in his bed. Must have tuckered him out cause he went straight to sleep. I however, spent the next thirty minutes cleaning up his room changing area. Eat, sleep, play, and poo…yep, thats about how it goes!

talk to ya soon, Ray!

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Responses

  1. Oh my goodness…I am so thankful my step-kids were past infant age when we came into each other’s lives!! As gross as it all sounds, it’s an absolute hoot to read about!! Good job Ray!

  2. We went into Robert room one day when he had woke up from a nap and found the he had pulled off his dirty diaper and played in it all over the bed. The worse part of it, he had some around his mouth. Did he eat it, probably, I just remember that it took everything in me to clean him and the mess up without making another mess.

  3. Just wait until he poops while eating and is comes like a waterfall over the top of his diaper onto your leg and into the chair you are sitting on while you are at your husband’s office and the poo soaks through to your underwear. So you think surely my husband can get me a pair of scrubs to make it home in, but no only patient pants were available and your underwear can be seen through them as you attempt to race out of the office one of his partners stops you to see your sweet baby. All the while you are hoping no one notices your black underwear under the white see through patient pants. Oh wait that was me. So sorry. 🙂

  4. Welcome to the world of what I affectionately call “exersaucer poopie”. He will never be constipated again!

  5. I just read this one out loud to Kyle so we could share the laughs!

  6. You are a btave
    Man Charlie Brown

    WE love you for all your labor of love

  7. Oh my gosh! I loved this post. I laughed out loud numerous times. Too funny!!! So glad we got to see you guys over Christmas. Love ya!

  8. Psst…hey, Ray, listen up. I’ve been a stay at home dad much longer than you and I’ve learned a few things.

    When you pull the cork on a wine bottle you usually just throw it away, right?

    Keep’em.

    You see where I’m going with this?

    Now if he’s a really young kid you might have to whittle down the end a bit, but trust me, you can make it fit.

    David


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