Like this:

So, kids should come with a warning label…”As child becomes larger so do poops and spit-ups. Child may develop abilities that makes cleanup for these substances harder”

Hadn’t had a gross story in a while so here are two goods ones…..

Today I was changing Graham’s diaper…yes this is really how it is starting…and I knew it was going to be a bad one, the boy is on meds for an ear infection. And my assumption was correct…full to the flaps and as juicy as they come..well we did the usual grab the little legs and hike them high in the air routine. Well, it was kinda like pulling a lever, and sent a little more poo shooting across the changing table. In reaction to the squirt bottle stream of poo shooting forth I dropped one of his feet. Yep, right into the diaper…but wait it gets better. Since he now knows how to kick his little feet, why not kick them wildly about now that it is free from dads grip. So, there he goes kicking back and forth…into the poo and out…into the poo and out…splashing about as though he were in the tub. I tried to grab his foot (now covered in poo) but he simply kicked my hand straight into the large collection in his diaper. So my hand was now successfully covered in poo, on the inside and out. I finally managed to get a grip on his leg therefore transferring the poo on my hand to the calf area of his leg. We were covered! It took me three wipes just to make the area manageable to work in. I quickly strung him up by one leg and carried him out side to get the hose and spray us down. I then got a wash cloth and wiped us both down in addition to using probably half of the package of wipes. Good Times!!!!

Story number two happened just a few minutes ago as a matter of fact…(well more like an hour ago, the Cox guy came to “update the wiring in our box” he must have used the wrong wire because out internet was down for about an hour) I was burping him after he had his bottle….yes this is how this one is starting…up on my shoulder. Now, he usually lets out quite a burp and then waits a little bit before he does any kind of spitting up…so thank heavens for that…So, he was up on my shoulder and his head is kinda bobbing around a little bit. Well, it comes bobbing toward my mouth…I knew better, I knew it was coming…and then he lets his little burp fly…right into my mouth and nose region. I swear it was like I had just eaten a full helping of burp… if they made a product called burp this is what it would taste like… it was right there…so stout I could have chewed on it. Knowing what was next, I quickly turned his head the other direction to avoid any type of substance coming my way. And just in the nick-of-time…one more head bob and then he covered the burp cloth on my shoulder. Whew!!! That was close… I take the burp over the real thing in my mouth any day!

I know what you are thinking…thats gross…but if you made it this far, then you read the stories…it is kinda like watching certain people at Wal-Mart, you know you should look away, but you are just too intrigued…OOhhh don’t judge, you know you do it too…

talk to ya soon!

Ray